Skip to main content

Unconditional love part 2- Being with her

Her light brown eyes were beautiful and it portrayed the smile flowing from her lips, notifying me that she had an amazingly beautiful smile too.
I wish I could see her smile………….
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I dreamt her the night I decided to talk to her; it only increased my curiosity to know more about her. I found myself practicing with the mirror and experimenting ways to make it simple with her. I had always been like the cross combination of curiosity and nervousness.
Waiting for her on the same bus stand, my cup was full with anxiety. A part of me never wanted her to come and another part was busy motivating me with the best possible way to handle my words on her arrival.
Her eyes met mine when she was leading with the fast footsteps towards me. I was ready to go for it and handle everything with care. I kept my head straight, my eyes focused on her and hands ready to move with my words. .when she said
“Please stop following me….. I know you are a reporter; you were present in the hospital….. I don’t want to publish the most uncertain situation of my life, please leave me alone” she said with a firm voice mixed with deep sense of emotions.
She turned her back and started walking; she had the same old scarf tied around her face.
“Stop…..please” I said
“I never wrote anything about you and will never write in future, I just saw you accidentally on bus stand and I just wanted to know….how is your life…..” I said
I paused for a while; her gaze was fixed on me
“I spent many sleepless nights from the day I saw you….. I have never seen anybody in such an abundant pain….” I was struggling with words.
“What do you want from me…?” she asked.
“Friendship is all I need from you, I don’t accept anything, and the day you entered in my life …the only thing I needed was to be around you” I said it directly, instead of saying what I had planned and practiced. I had no idea how she was going to react on this, maybe she will think of me as one of those jerks with selfish reasons.
I noticed a tear drop at the corner of her eyes, I felt guilty and never wanted to do this.
“I thought nobody actually needs me, thanks for giving me a priority to become your friend….but I have lost trust on everyone around….you can see…I always keep my face covered with scarf…I don’t want anyone to look at me with sympathy….” Her eyes were filled with tears
“I have decided…I will never show my face to the unknowns…so how can you be my friend without seeing me….” She said
I imagined her walking with me, with her face covered, soon I realized I didn’t care, to be with her was more important. Her bus arrived, she saw me with guilt in her eyes. I decided to make it simple.
“I will wait for you…after your school ends…” I said with a smile.
 She was still looking at me with a deep thought and I smiled to comfort her. She entered the bus which speeded off within seconds. I was left behind alone but with a constant thought of doing something for her.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We walked together on beach admiring the sunset every evening after we became unconditional friends. We never accepted anything from each-other. First she was not comfortable with me but after some days passing we were familiar with each other. Her words had started coming out. I discovered she was an open minded girl with a polite heart. She always had a scarf covering her face and I always maintained a safe 7 inches distance from her while walking. I learned she was one of the best people on earth I had ever met. I enjoyed her company and always tried to make her feel comfortable. I told her everything about me, my life, my dreams but I always controlled my curiosity to ask anything about her. I never discussed any harsh situation or story with her but the stories I would tell her were the one with lot of laughter in it. She would laugh out loud but I never saw her laughing, I never thought of trying. Her eyes notified me when she smiled. They were beautiful; I was ready to live with her eyes for eternity.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The day was cloudy when we met at the beach; she was admiring the sea constantly as if the waves of thoughts were flowing in her mind.
“Please close your eyes, I want to show you something” she insisted.
Her eyes notified that they had something different today. They presented altered feelings. I followed her instructions and opened my eyes when she said to open it. I saw her standing in front of me without the scarf on her face.
“This is me, you always wanted to see it…right?” she said.
Of course, I was living for her, I had fallen for her.
“Yes, but you had decided that you will never uncover your face…” I asked.
“I did it because ….. I trust you…”she said it with a smile.
The word trust was something which flattered me. I noticed my heart beating louder and shiver ran through my body. She really had a sweet smile. My heart was full with happiness. I kept my eyes on her face without blinking it.
“She is beautiful…..” my mind said.
“Yes, she is…..” I replied.
The clouds turned dark. The sea waves were bouncing fast as if dancing after seeing an incredibly beautiful face of my love.
She threw her scarf and removed her shoes and held my hands and started walking bare foot on beach, when suddenly it started raining as if cheering for my happiness, so lucky I am to have such a sweet girl in my life. The raindrops touching her face and slowly flowing down became more clear and fresh. She started dancing in rain and giving me one of the best days of my life.
“I love you……..” I committed honestly and I kept my eyes on her face.
She stopped and saw me with a smile, our eyes met and after few seconds she  hugged me. I closed my eyes and lived that very moment with my full heart and soul. There were many people around but she was happy as if she was free now. She really did not care about anyone, but me. She kept her head on my chest for a while and then we started moving slowly with small steps towards our new future away from the scarf left on the sandy beach in the rain.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The very next day I was ready to meet her at mc-Donald. I wore the best shirt I had, applied 5 shots of deodorant, took my bag and headed towards mc-Donald. It was my second meeting with her after my commitment. I reached there before she had arrived. Everything around was much different today, the attendants at the desk, the old lady busy with her veg burger, the boy holding her girlfriends hand-everything had beauty. I was eagerly waiting for her, everything, from the day I first saw her in the hospital lying unconscious on the bed to the day I saw her dancing in the rain was replayed in my mind. In the worst situations of the life we lose everything, there is nothing which can rearm our faith on life but love can. An unconditional love can change the world for someone. My gaze was fixed on door and my heart was waiting for the time my love opens it and walks towards me without the scarf on her face. I kept waiting for next 4 hours then I finally realized she will not come. I tried calling her number, but it was switched off. I thought she must be busy so she didn’t arrive. I was completely OK with it as I decided to meet her next day on bus stand but my heart was against me and it flashed some bitter feelings, so I took a bus to her house with the hope to at least see her once so that my night will be easier to handle. My thoughts had vanished while I was sitting in the bus; I only wanted to reach her as soon as possible.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I reached her house there was no one around but a small girl sitting on sofa.
She must have gone out of town, I calmed my mind.
“Hello……” I said.
She saw me and changed her expressions as if she knew me; she slowly walked towards me and started crying. I approached her and asked her” what happened?”
“You are the newspaper reporter….right?” she asked.
“Yes….. I am” I replied.
She gave me an envelope and started crying again. I analyzed the envelope and saw my name written on it.
“What is it….?” I asked.
“Didi…gave it for you” she replied.
My heart beats increased. Different thoughts started to fill my mind. ‘Had she left the town’, ‘is it like …. She never wants to see me!’
I was not sure about anything and I was not ready to allow the third thought to enter my mind, the most unexpected one.
“But…..why?” was the only question I could ask.
“Didi……died” she said with a low voice.
“She hanged herself last night…. She gave me this envelope before she went to her room…and locked herself….i knew something was wrong but I thought nowadays she is always alone…so she must be crying inside…….but……she did all this” she cried.
“She had said…you will come searching for her….” She was unable to find words.
“I was unable to understand the reasons behind her saying all this….i just kept this envelope for you” she started crying out loud.
I was shocked; I crushed the envelope in my hand. I felt as if everything had stopped in its place. I was in a deep intense trauma, I wanted to cry but it was hard for me to find tears.
I opened my fist and saw the crushed envelope. It was really very tough for me to open it. I did it very slowly and slipped my hand inside to find a letter with ‘to my love’ written on its folded side.
These words brought tears in my eyes. My hands were firm and were not allowing me to open
‘THE LETTER……..’
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To be continued

                                 Author: Raviraj Mishra


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

First day with the moon

Searching for the reasons to talk. Looking out for ways to be together. Waiting all night for the next day to show up. Aren’t these some symptoms of love.
It was a new day for both of us. Our life had changed with just three words. 
The twist and turns, the ups and downs we experienced alone till now. We were in a mood to forget all and create our world, beautiful and small.  The first morning of love, I am sure it was a very different feeling we felt. There was an anxiety, some nervousness and way too much freaking out. My lips were haunted with smiles and my mind was all ready to shout. My fingers couldn’t handle the shiver and my eyes were stuck on my phone. I looked at your pictures and practiced being normal.
Took my bike keys and stepped out of my door. I was excited to see you and live this new day, we were about to explore. My mind couldn’t stop thinking about you. I counted each second I moved. Every minute I was some meters closer to you.  It was all different. The world around me w…

The Beginning

It was evening and we were on our seperate bikes. We had some numb conversation about your friend you used to like. I saw your eyes filled and I felt a twinge in my heart. It had been a week or so, when I had told you my feelings for you were hard.  It was twist in my life. I thought I lost it. My love for you had grown all wide, but in that evening I came to know, maybe it was him you liked.  I thought of leaving the road of your life. And I remember I tried to convince you, that for you, he was right.  I was talking with a smile, but deep down my heart lied. It wanted you to think only about me, because I was the one who dreamt of a whole new life.  I was sure till than, I would never find anyone like you. My eyes when shut, could see you. My ears in silence would hear you. My hands in emptiness would feel you.  Your words were clear in my head. Thinking about you, I never had to make up a sentence you said.  Talking about you, I would get carried away. Just like now I started with the eve…

Shruti - The Feeling of Being Loved

Shruti sometimes, is laid back amidst the mind distracting situations. She manages to ignore her chatty mind and just indulge in the present moment.
She may be sometimes anxious, excited and nervous but she surely knows how to live in the moment.

- The Feeling of Being loved

Book Description
Shruti, a software engineer has a wish to be truly loved by someone. In her journey, she has two companions - Meera and her talking rational mind. Her idea of love and respect guides her to take some strong decisions. The feeling of being loved is the story of those rational decisions taken by a distracted mind to
make things alright.

Author
Raviraj Mishra

Born in Pune, India is a writer and an entrepreneur. He is the author of the book - The Feeling of Being Loved. He is known for his rhythmic writing. He prefers writing and reading fiction. He enjoys creating characters and building up a story around them. He has written around 40 articles which are available on his blog www.ravirajmishra.com, …